A Fork Amongst the Spoons: Autism and Independence

A Fork Amongst the Spoons begins with Ian about to enter middle school. A school full of kids who have never encountered someone on the autistic spectrum. Hank Smith and his wife, Michelle, try to put their fears aside. Father and son, mother and child, those roles slowly change as Ian begins to find his own way, to learn to walk his own path.



And so, the days turn to weeks, the weeks to months, and the months to years. Ian’s steps grow more confident and sure, as he learns about this ‘normal’ world and how to navigate his way through it . . . a fork amongst the spoons.

As the years pass, Hank and Michelle’s questions begin to drop away until finally only one remains. It holds the future, not just a future of days and weeks, but one of years, of decades . . . a question that carries a taste of rain.
 What will happen to our son when we’re gone?
Picturing a future they will never see, a life they will never be a part of . . . the storm is here.

Excerpt

I was in the store the other day. A woman with Down Syndrome was there with her mom. The daughter looked to be in her thirties, while the mother was elderly, her short cropped hair steel grey . . . she was easily in her seventies. The daughter held onto the shopping cart, her vivid blue eyes glued to her mom. I noticed that the further her mother moved away from her, the harder she gripped the cart. Her mother returned with some eggs, and the daughter’s grip eased. As they moved away together, arm in arm, she relaxed completely.

They stopped a few feet further on in front of a dairy case, and the process repeated. Our shopping lists must have been quite similar, because we were together through most of the store. It was almost like watching a dance, tension and release, tension and release.

At one point, her mother briefly walked into another aisle, out of sight of her daughter’s piercing blue eyes. The daughter gripped the cart with both hands, her knuckles white. This time the tension was palpable, but she remained silent. When her mother returned, her grip eased, and the dance resumed.

Did she do that on purpose? I wondered. These moments spent out of sight, out of touch — today it was only thirty-seconds, tomorrow would it be a minute, and next week five? In her own simple way, was this mother preparing her daughter for that horribly inevitable day when she wouldn’t come back?

I thought about them all the way home. Was there a father? Were there brothers and sisters? Or was it just the two of them, putting their groceries away in that companionable silence that only thirty years of a life together can bring?

Later that evening when my phone rang and I saw Ian’s number on the screen, I thought of them again.

How do I prepare my son for the day I don’t answer?

Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed and cried and couldn't put it down till I was done.

Reviewed in the United States on October 10, 2023

Format: KindleVerified Purchase

I can't recommend this book enough to every parent and educator and loved one out there. Hank has a brilliant way of telling his families story and the ups and downs of raising a son that is different than what society deems "normal". It is rare to get a glimpse from a father's perspective, but this perspective is what made the book so great. A beautiful mix of humor to go with the raw emotion.

After reading Hank's first book, I could not wait to see how Ian's life unfolded. I was not disappointed at all in this 2nd book. Get them both!!! And tell all your friends to get both!!!

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful!!

Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2024

Format: Paperback

This book is not just enlightening, it’s truly an enjoyable read. This is a wonderfully honest book about the challenges and blessings of guiding an adolescent with autism into the adult world. I’m in awe of Hank Smith’s writing! The first sentence is guaranteed to coax a smile out of you. A Fork Amongst the Spoons is poignant, funny, informative, and entertaining. Really, a book for EVERYONE.

5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and Poignant

Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2023

Format: Paperback

A Fork Amongst the Spoons is a great read for parents, grandparents, teachers…and, well, everyone! Hank Smith has a way of pointing out the silver lining of autism without skipping the tough parts his son and family have experienced. So many of us know someone with autism and this book has such a beautiful perspective. You will laugh, cry, and examine your own heart. Highly recommend!

5.0 out of 5 stars Another amazing book by Hank Smith!!

Reviewed in the United States on October 5, 2023

Format: Kindle

I loved this book. I read Hank Smith's first book, "Sticks and Stones". I couldn't wait for the sequel. Well, after eight years it came out. I wasn't disappointed. It was worth the wait. I think every educator and parent should read both of his books. His books highlight the journey of autism with humor and love. A great read!! It was a fast read because I couldn't put it down! I hope I don't have to wait eight more years to read his third book.